Edward at the Office
by mccullen
Summary: Companion to At the Office, EPOV. Life is hard when the girl you love tells you she hates you, then makes out with you, and then starts hiding under your boss's desk to hide from you. Just ask Edward.


**Edward at the Office**

**Summary:** Companion to At the Office, EPOV. Life is hard when the girl you love tells you she hates you, then makes out with you, and then starts hiding under your boss's desk to hide from you. Just ask Edward.

**Note:** Uh, hey. I feel like I've come back from the dead. This one shot got abandoned some time ago, with about 8,000 words already completed, so I'm guessing that's like half way done. Truth be told, we all KNOW the original At the Office should just be totally rewritten, but, as you guys can see by my delayance of finishing this and my lack of completing any other stories past two chapters, I'm incredibly lazy. It's a disease. FORRREALZZZ.

…Not really. Anyway, I recently found this half finished piece of work and my lazy ass decided that I might as well finish it, especially since I promised you guys some kind of follow up like two years ago. But you'll all be happy to know that currently, another McCullen story is in the works, but it won't be out for a while, if at all. So, there's _that_ bittersweet news…

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Stephenie Meyer's characters… If I did, I probably wouldn't be doing and instead be buying all the Snapple in the world.

* * *

**Edward Cullen**

I only want one thing in this whole fucking office.

I didn't care about De Ja Vu's sequel and how much money it would bring to the office or to myself personally. I didn't care that I had the boss practically wrapped around my fucking finger. I also really didn't care that Lauren offered me sex or a blowjob everyday (because, really, who knows where the hell she's been?) I would give all that up for Bella Swan, a brunette siren that had been calling to me ever since she filled out a job application.

And it wasn't just lust – I mean, trust me, there was lust, oh yes – but I was fucking in love with the woman.

I resented her for it at first. I mean, who the hell did she think she was, making me fall in love with her with her wit and adorable sarcasm, thus ruining me for all other women? And being so fast to irritate, I just had to rile her up – partly from my resentment and partly from the fact that beautiful blush would always appear whenever she got all fiery and worked up.

I liked them feisty like most men (or maybe most men just like to say, 'I like 'em feisty', but I don't really know or _care_), but Bella wore feistiness better than anyone else could. The fact she actually_ had_ a brain that made witty retorts was the hugest turn on – besides the blush that always seemed to invade the gorgeous girl's cheeks.

She wore those shades of crimson and pink _so_ well.

She… intrigued me. Everything about her – the way she talked and conversed with others, the way – if she wasn't wearing her hair up – she would either brush her long dark hair behind her shoulder or move it to cover her face (usually when she was blushing), and simply just the way she moved (which was usually clumsily, but I found that humorous and endearing.)

But, alas, she did not reciprocate my feelings. The very thought tore my insides every time. I mean, I could have any woman I wanted. It wasn't being arrogant, it was a fact. I didn't know how many times I had complained to my sister, Alice, about Bella's lack of wanting to tear my clothes off.

"Maybe if you'd stop being such a conceited ass around her," Alice would say. Yes, she suggested that every time I came to visit her at her extravagant home.

"I'll consider that," I would say. But no, I didn't. Not really.

Because, I mean, honestly, how many women got all hot and bothered from a confident – leaning on arrogant – man who, in his 'wronged ways,' could be fixed if he had just found that one 'special' woman? Let me tell you, _lots_ of women do.

Well, I had found that one special woman. But she just didn't want me. And there was some more resentment for that one fact.

Rosalie, Bella's best friend and my brother's girlfriend, didn't try to offer me that much advice. "You're such a freaking dumb ass," she'd always say when I asked about Bella. I was always indignant after this because she was dating Emmett, who, though he was not an idiot, had the worse case of A.D.D. my father had ever seen in his career of medicine. Emmett also acted like he was still ten years old.

Seriously, I don't know how many times he's stolen change off my counter, even though he doesn't even need it.

Anyway, I tried talking to a family friend about Bella, and it was probably the worst advice I had ever gotten. Well, actually, it wasn't even advice. I had asked Tanya Denali, a family friend and an author of raunchy romance novels (whose work I had seen being edited by Bella in a distasteful manner) about Bella. I don't really like Tanya, but usually I was desperate when it came to Bella, and my thought process was that since Tanya wrote romance (if that could even be the correct term for her genre) then she would know about real life romances as well. This was how it went:

Me: "Hey Tanya, it's Edward. I need your advice."

Tanya (attempting to purr or something): "Anything for you, Eddie. Do you want to come visit me? We can make ourselves more comfortable after _I_ slip into something more comfortable…" A giggle, and then, the wench literally meowed – like a feline or something.

Me: "What are you, a fucking cat? And don't call me Eddie."

Tanya (laughs): "Oh, _Edward_, you're too funny when you joke around."

Me (dryly): "I've been told that."

Tanya: "Of course you have been, Edward. You're so silly."

Me: "Yeah, alright. This girl – Bella Swan – works at my office, and refuses to give me the time of day, and I need your help to try to… uh, I don't know… 'woo' her. Let me tell you a little bit about her–" And before I could go into my Bella induced rant, the witch interrupts me.

Tanya (in a disapproving voice): "Edward, are you sure this girl is worth your time? Is she worthy of you?"

Me (shocked beyond all measure, of course): "Of course! She's beyond my wildest expectations. She's perfection. No, wait, she's more than perfection."

Tanya (in a sickly sweet voice): "Well then, are you sure you're good enough for her?"

I felt myself freeze after that sentence. I remained silent as my mind worked furiously, revolving around what Tanya had said.

Tanya: "Eddiekins, you there?"

I hung up then.

Of course I had had those thoughts of myself not being good enough for Bella. I mean, here was this absolutely amazing girl who was funny and smart and beautiful and perfect and had the ability to make my insides burn with want – no, _need_ – with just one simple look. And then, there I am, like some pathetic scum of the earth, practically hooking up with anything that is female because I can't get with the one girl that I'm in love with.

She was an angel, and I was someone who didn't even come close to deserving her.

What could I do for her, anyway? All I succeeded in doing was pissing her off just so I could watch the beautiful, lovely blush spread across her soft looking cheeks. I hurt her for my own selfish gain. I truly was a monster… And a dip shit and a dumb ass like Rosalie repeatedly had said… And a conceited asshole like Alice had said… And a dick hole, like Emmett had said that one time I beat him at Halo five times in a row… And completely unworthy of Bella, as Tanya had confirmed…

I felt horrible after my crap revelation. I didn't deserve the one woman I loved. It was all I could think about, and hell, I was more miserable than I had been since… well, forever. I kept up a front for Bella, letting her continue to think I was a conceited asshole bastard so she wouldn't question my change in mood (she's sweet like that, even though she doesn't like me at all.)

I sat in the self pitying funk for about a week after the _lovely_ conversation with Tanya. After getting on Emmett's nerves for my lack of response to… well, anything, he exploded. "Dude, I know that self pity shit is your fucking nature or whatever, but grow some balls and tell me what's got you worked up _this_ time." Yes, sometimes it was Emmett being the mature – almost – one while I behaved childishly (but with good reason, I thought.)

After Emmett led with that line, he got me to tell him what I was moping about. He was enraged, looking all grizzly-like and shit. I remember sighing and rolling my eyes, telling him Tanya was right. I threw myself on the couch, feeling like a moping teenager again. Emmett had snorted. "I can't believe you asked that fucking snake for advice."

"Cat," I corrected automatically, "She prefers to meow, not hiss." My brother gave me a strange look and I explained in further detail the beginning of the conversation with Tanya. He laughed so hard for so long that I cracked a smile for the first time in a week – not counting the secret ones I did whenever I saw Bella do something particularly adorable, like stick her tongue out at Rosalie or Mr. Banner when his back was turned… Also not counting the smirk that would just arrive on my face every time I was in Bella's sight. I thought, in his amusement, Emmett would forget his anger and not try to convince me I was worth Bella's time.

I also _really_ didn't want him calling Alice. She was the youngest, but acted the oldest by being the most protective and the bossiest. I had shuddered at the time to think of what she would do if she found out. She'd probably kick my ass for my little pity party, Tanya's ass for putting the idea in my head, Emmett's ass for not getting my explanation out of me sooner, and Mr. Banner's ass, just because she always says he's weird, and it's hard for her to stop kicking ass once she's started.

The only one that would be able to calm her down would be her husband and one of my best friends Jasper Whitlock. But, knowing my luck, he'd be out of town at the time doing some super therapist thing and Alice would come back to me for a double round of ass whooping.

Anyway, Emmett, oblivious to my growing complaints and protests, told Alice. She yelled at me and told me to bring back some of that confidence that made Bella so mad and blushing and to gather myself and be a man. "I will have none of this self loathing crap," she reprimanded fiercely. "I'm sick of you're whole little tragic hero façade!"

"It's not a façade–" I protested, but was shushed by Hurricane Alice – category five on the wrath for war path scale.

"You do want this girl, don't you?" asked Alice critically.

"Of course," I said, feeling insulted. "What, do you think I just complain and whine and moan about the perfection of that girl for _kicks_?" Emmett snickered in the background as I scowled.

"Well then," Alice replied, arching an eyebrow as she examined me and then her cuticles casually. "Fight for her, Tragic Hero."

And I would try. I smiled gratefully at Alice as she turned to leave and she gave me a sweet smile in return. I should've known that the war path of Alice wasn't even closed to being finished yet, since she had only kicked my ass – I mean, figuratively, of course. Her little legs can't reach that high.

I soon realized that Alice's ass kicking was officially done when I got an apology call from Tanya on Alice's orders.

I groaned silently when I realized Alice just _had_ to fix my problems right to the source, like a mom who calls the school on the behalf of her son being bullied by the school's bully. Great, another thing to add to my list of pathetic-ness: I needed my little sister to take care of me.

Although I was fuming at Alice (even though her intentions were good), I learned it was a fucking conspiracy – okay, not really a 'conspiracy,' since I don't think Irina or Kate really had anything to do with it. After being royally pissed at Tanya, she called to apologize, saying that I was "the one for her and in a desperate act to get your" – my – "attention, I" – Tanya – "asked my sisters for help. Irina and Kate told me to go through with this _wretched_ plan, and I, in a love sick manner, agreed, blinded by my love for you, clouding my normally angelic" – I am not even fucking kidding here – "conscience and judgment. Please forgive me, but I just wanted to make you forget about some_ infatuation_ and join me as my soul mate, because she _so_ doesn't deserve you."

I wasn't very thrilled, to say the least – especially when she called the feelings I felt for Bella "some infatuation." I nearly ripped my bronze-colored hair out at that point, because I was so fucking mad. I threw the phone after hearing Tanya's last sentence.

Bella – Isabella the-love-of-my-fucking-life Swan – not worthy of _me_? Ridiculous. Absolutely, positively, one hundred percent ridiculous.

* * *

I despised Fridays.

Almost as much as Saturday and Sunday.

I remembered telling Emmett this once, and he had Jasper – who, like I mentioned before, is like a super therapist with award winning books against depression and shit that he wrote – come over and analyze me. Jasper, after talking to me for about two minutes – "Hey, Edward, what's up?" "Eh, nothing much, Emmett's annoying the shit out of me again… the usual." "So, I heard you don't like the weekend?" "What?" "Yeah, Emmett called. He's worried about your mentality." "Is this some kind of idiotic joke?" "No. So you don't like Saturdays and Sundays, correct?" "…Yes, that's right." "M_hm_…" – and after that "M_hm_…" therapist-cliché-line, Jasper went on to tell Emmett my 'diagnosis.'

"He's really just a boring person with the lack of a social life," Jasper had said lazily. "He enjoys work because it feels like he actually has something to do…"

"Hey!" I said angrily as Emmett cracked up. "That's not it! I just don't get to see Bella until Monday!"

"Ah," Jasper had said, taking off his "therapist glasses" as he liked to call them. "The boy's just simply an idiot in love. Nothing to worry about." And before I had time to kill him and Emmett, Jasper walked swiftly out, almost in a professional manner that said 'My work here is done.'

I still cringe at the memory of my brief therapy session.

I rubbed my eyes as I got up. With the promotion Mr. Banner had given me, came earlier hours. At least I had gotten my own office, though, and although it was not as nice or big as Mr. Banner's, it was a very good improvement from the cubicle that I used to – and which Bella still does – work in. But I woke up a little over a half hour earlier than I used to… When I fell asleep in the shower today, it wasn't the first time. I left around 6:30, my brain too tired to focus much on else other than coffee.

I arrived at Starbucks, ordering a coffee. _Ahh_, I sighed mentally after taking a sip. I really didn't understand how people functioned in the morning without coffee, like Alice. Of course, she was under strict orders from my doctor of a father not to drink caffeine, because, being as hyper as she already is no matter what's going on, she just couldn't handle the caffeine.

When I got to the office, I saw Angela Webber. She smiled kindly at me as she held the elevator door open for me. I nodded in appreciation and gave her a smile of gratitude as the elevator doors closed. She practically had waves of happiness and excitement coming off at her, I noticed as I looked at her face curiously. I didn't like not being in the know, so I observed, "You look particularly happy today."

Angela grinned brightly. "Yes, well, I'm so excited. You know Ben, from Accounting?"

I nodded. Ben was a good guy – if not a little obsessed with some comic book I never heard of. I think it involved ninja pirates or something… "Yes, aren't you guys in a relationship?"

"Yes," squealed Angela. I felt slightly taken aback – it didn't seem like an Angela-characteristic to squeal. "He proposed" – "Congratulations," I interceded, and her face brightened even more before she went on – "and our engagement party is tonight! You should come, of course!" I must've looked unsure, because she added slyly, "Bella promised to be there."

I felt my face flush slightly, and Angela giggled quietly. I was almost in shock that I had blushed – Cullens rarely blushed, if at all. I felt myself reeling – first, Bella Swan makes me fall in love with her (which, at the time, I really hadn't expected, especially so fast), and then, she makes me turn pink. I don't even think that's happened before…

"So you'll be there?" Angela asked, trying to control her quiet giggles.

My eyes snapped to hers, and I cleared my throat, confirming, "Yes, I'll most definitely be there."

"Great!" said Angela delightedly. "It's at Club Inattendu tonight."

"Inattendu," I muttered, trying to recall the French that Esme (my mom) had made me take in high school. "That means 'unexpected', right?"

Angela shrugged as the elevator dinged to reveal the lobby of our floor. "No clue." I just nodded and waved good bye as I went to go see if I had any mail from Lauren at the front desk.

Ugh, Lauren.

"Hey, Eddie!" Ugh.

"Edward, if you please," I smiled politely, despite the desire to scowl. "Do I have any mail?"

She nodded her blonde head rapidly, looking like a bobble head with an eye batting problem. Really, she was just a bubble head instead of a bobble head.

Ha, I made a pun. Too bad I hated puns.

She went around looking for it – how could she be so disorganized? – and started chattering in her nasal sounding voice. My mind drifted as I was not really paying attention. Lauren wasn't interesting enough for me to even try to listen. My mind wandered and I remembered it was here that I had first seen Bella.

I had walked in to work one morning, tired. At the time, Emmett was my roommate. Emmett had had Rosalie around for a really long time. They had gotten into a fight the day before, and, well, apparently the only reason to fight was the make-up part. Trust me – I heard it all night, not getting much sleep at all. I was blindly going to the door for work, not even bothering to glance at Lauren to give her a polite hello (Allow me to cut across this flashback to say that Esme taught me manners, though I know that she would be disappointed in my current behavior towards women, all because I was constantly looking for distractions from Bella.) That didn't seem to bother Lauren, though, since she called to me flirtatiously, "Hello, Edward!"

Gritting my teeth, I said hello back, as Lauren leaned over the desk, smiling and fluttering her eyelashes. Almost instantly, I heard a snort, which made Lauren scowl. I smirked in amusement, turning to raise my eyebrow at whoever had done that; I mean, all things considered, Lauren was catty and not someone most people – girls especially – would want to mess with. It was audacious, to say the least. And that's when I saw her.

She was beautiful, and if my jaw hadn't been clenched in a smirk, it would've dropped. Her hair was waves of chocolate and slightly stunned eyes that matched her hair met mine. Her skin was porcelain, and I could see her creamy calves sticking out from underneath a professional looking pencil skirt. She frowned slightly, turning back to her paperwork. From the side view, I noticed she had a great ass – I was grinning wildly when I entered my newly acquired office.

Emmett and I have always been different, especially when it came to woman. He liked blondes, I liked brunettes. He liked PDA to the point of being arrested for public nudity, while I only tolerated hand holding and kisses in public, preferring more intimate things to be in private. He was a breast man, I was an ass man.

Not to say I didn't like breasts – because, well, I'm a man, and I do – but if I were to have a brunette girl with the best breasts in the world but no ass be into me, I'd probably wouldn't even look twice at her.

Well, maybe I'd watch a wet T-shirt contest, but no relationship would be possible. I needed some ass grab.

The second time I met the love of my life (though I didn't know it then, I just thought of it as high attraction) occurred after my lunch break, and the flat assed Lauren was yapping on endlessly, occasionally adding the flirty touches or batting her eyelashes or complimenting my muscles or something – "your muscles look _fantabulous_ in that suit, Eddie!" When Bella politely (with some distaste, I noted with humor) interrupted Lauren's pointless conversation, I turned to face the brunette beauty with a smirk on my face, dying to laugh at Lauren's expression. Apparently, Bella was here for a job interview with Mr. Banner. My heart leapt at the thought that she might be working close to me.

I raised my eyebrows at her, again surprised by her fearlessness of Lauren (who was now giving Bella a death glare.) For some reason, I wanted to almost… _protect_ Bella from Lauren's fierce looks, which confused me horribly. In an effort to do so, and also allowing me my escape from a pointless conversation with Lauren, "Don't worry about it, Miss Mallory. I'm heading that way, I'll tell him."

Lauren started to complain, like she always does. "No, no, no, it's fine! Miss, uh…" Her fishy eyes dropped down momentarily to look at Bella's job application, before looking up rapidly. "Miss Swan can wait!" Bella gaped. Her facial expression was a look of 'are you freaking kidding me?' and it amused me a little.

"No, that's alright," I tried. Of course, Lauren was having none of it as I attempted to leave.

"Wait!" Lauren was practically panicking. "Just wait a second, and I'll run in to tell Mr. Banner" – it obviously hadn't occurred to her to just use the phone. Yeah, that Lauren was a smart cookie – "and then we can get back to our nice talk." I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, and I smirked again when I saw Bella actually roll her eyes. Yes, we were on the same wave length, I thought with some satisfaction.

"No worries, Miss Mallory. I need to get to work soon anyway." Before I went through the door that led to the many cubicles and few private offices, I winked at Bella. For some reason, she didn't take it too well. As I alerted Mr. Banner of Bella's arrival, I pondered her odd reaction. Beautiful Bella plagued my thoughts everyday until she arrived for work one morning as an official staff member, which is when the whole love-hate relationship started. She hated me, and I loved her.

I don't even remember how we started fighting and getting on each other's nerves – well, actually, she didn't really annoy me – but I do remember the tingly feeling I got when I first saw her blush that beautiful red color as she got all fiery and passionate (in a mad kind of way, unfortunately.) Despite the anger, I remember thinking this girl was simply angelic. I was careful to try to keep the dreamy expression off my face whenever she was in my vicinity, instead reverting to the smirk I usually wore. The smirk was also of anticipation, waiting to see that gorgeous color invade the gorgeous girl's smooth looking cheeks.

"So, Eddie," Lauren's shrill voice interrupted my thoughts, "I heard you were going to Angela's engagement party." She said Angela's name with some contempt, because, in reality, she didn't get along with anyone in the office, even someone as sweet and nice as Angela.

What the fuck? Those three words were my first thoughts, followed by: How'd she even know? And, didn't I just step out of the elevator five minutes ago? Was she… watching me? I was slightly panicked at the last thought, leading to another extreme thought: Was she a stalker? I didn't think she was stealthy enough for that though, especially since we had been in an _elevator_ at the time, but damn, still.

"Uh, yeah… How'd you know?" I asked, slightly worried about the answer.

Lauren looked at me in a confused way, almost like I had lost my marbles, but as if I had lost my sanity in an incredibly cute way. Yes, Lauren Mallory makes weird expressions. "Um… Angela just walked by, telling you to be there at 8:30 since she forgot to tell you." Then she giggled. "You're so silly, Eddie." I grinded my teeth as she handed me my mail. "So do you maybe want to–?" Lauren started to propose, but I interrupted.

"Uh, I got to go, bye Lauren," I said in a rush, hurriedly walking to my office. I didn't want to have to turn down Lauren twenty times when she asked me to go to Angela and Ben's party with her. The girl can not take a hint at all.

I sighed in relief when I was safely in my office, away from Lauren. It was times like these that I wished Bella were my girlfriend to maybe help deter Lauren's advances – though, it probably wouldn't help much in all actuality, but the thought comforted me. I ran my hands through my hand in a frustrated manner, my thoughts mixing between disgust towards Lauren and unbelievable and incontrollable desire towards Bella.

* * *

The sequel to De Ja Vu was interesting – it was a suspenseful thriller with an intelligent author who could twist the littlest things and turn them all around, totally surprising you. I had been honored when Mr. Banner had presented me with De Ja Vu to edit, and I was excited to read the sequel.

After some carefully made grammatical changes on the document, I rubbed my eyes and started to fill out some forms I had received in the mail. When I went to staple them, though, I realized I didn't have any staples left in my stapler or in my desk drawer. Groaning, I got up to head to the copy and supply room, grumbling about staplers. I searched through a cabinet before hearing a door open. Automatically, I turned to see who it was.

Lauren. Great.

"Eddie!" she squealed. Hadn't I just seen Lauren a couple of hours ago? And how did she always find me? That stalker theory was sounding more and more realistic in my tired mind.

I grunted, not really caring enough to be polite. I needed more caffeine. I should probably go to Starbucks again on my lunch break…

Between my musing of delicious caffeine, Lauren had managed to push me to the copy machine, were she was leaning against me. I blinked in surprise. Apparently I blanked out when I was in need of coffee. Lauren started whispering in my ear, telling me all the things she wanted to do to me but mostly the things she wanted me to do to her (I would never go down on Lauren Mallory, I said mentally, sounding disgusted even in my own mind), all the while somehow directing my eyes to her cleavage.

Huh. My eyes focused on the exposed skin, even though my brain was disgusted with myself. But it wasn't really my fault – blame my Y chromosome. God, how low was that top? I knew there was a reason Mr. Banner must have hired her, because it definitely wasn't for her resume. The line of cleavage seemed to go down and down and – wait, is that a zit? On her tit? Lauren Mallory had zit tits? Gross.

But she just kept shoving her chest in my face – what the hell, was she trying to poke my eye out? If her breasts didn't, that zit definitely would.

"I want you so bad, Eddie," she whimpered. I didn't bother to correct her on her grammatical error (it should've been 'badly' instead of 'bad.')

I smirked at the thought that despite the ability to have practically any girl, I lacked the ability to obtain the one woman I wanted. I was absolutely hopeless when it came to Bella. It was amusing in a sick kind of way.

I truly was a masochist.

The door to the copy room was opened in a rather loud manner, knocking me out of my stupor. Lauren was distracted and moved away from my ear and I felt my smirk grow in volume when I saw it was Bella who had entered the copy room. My inner arrogant asshole would be out to play soon, but I was momentarily sidetracked from those thoughts when I saw Bella that day.

She had removed the normal oversized work jacket she normally wore, just wearing a crisp white shirt. For the first time, I really saw the shape of the toned stomach and the beautiful curves that lead up to a creamy collarbone and a tantalizing neck. Bella's chocolate hair had a wild edge to it, wavy and slightly disarrayed, unlike the usual bun that she wore. It vaguely reminded me of sex hair, which led my thoughts to picturing a "morning after" scene, involving Bella climbing out of my bed wearing only my old baseball shirt from high school with CULLEN emblazed on the back, with her hair in such a way and creamy legs completely bare...

The visual tightened my pants. Oh God, please let neither of them see that – I didn't want Lauren thinking she was the reason behind my "not-little-at-all-problem," and I didn't want Bella thinking that either. I could almost see the disgust showing on her perfect features.

Although disgust was an ugly emotion, I could imagine Bella wearing it quite nicely, like much else. Like my old t-shirt and nothing else… Focus, Cullen.

I should make a comment, my mind was thinking rapidly. Alright, Cullen, play it cool.

"Hello, Bella. Don't you look nice today?" Nice? Fucking nice? That was all I could think of at the time? I felt like hitting myself in the head with a mallet over and over again. Why hadn't I used the adjectives I normally described her as in my head, like beautiful, gorgeous, stunning, radiant?

I wasn't about to get completely pissed off at my stupidity, because I saw the lightest shade of pink invade her cheeks. The color was enough to calm me down slightly. I barely heard Lauren make some odd noise – almost territorial. Excuse me while I go vomit.

Bella shot the blonde secretary a look, slightly raising an eyebrow before replying in an almost disinterested way, "Uh huh. Can you move? I have to make some copies of this paper here." She motioned to the paper, inclining her head in a way.

I found that weird. I had been working at the office for a longer than Bella, and I don't ever remember making copies, at least not for Mr. Banner. "An editor? Making _copies_?" Lauren began somewhat clawing at me, and I, in an act of extreme discomfort, attempted to get her to let go. Bella looked slightly surprised at the exchange, and I could practically feel Lauren fuming from behind me.

"Yes," Bella replied flatly, but her burning brown eyes were accusing. "Since _someone's_ supposed to be on 'lunch break', I'm stuck doing secretarial duties." Aw, Bella was so adorable in an amusing way. I knew that girl would always keep me on my toes. I looked back at Lauren briefly to see her sending a death glare towards Bella, making me frown. I didn't like the feeling of animosity coming from Lauren, because of my constant feeling like I needed to protect Bella from anything or anyone – such as annoying mail men or catty, delusional women.

Slightly annoyed at Lauren, the asshole in me decided it was time to rear its ugly head. My frown gone, I was once again smirking. "Aw," I said, because really – Bella was that cute, "Are you sure you aren't here because you're," I paused to add tension, vaguely reminding myself of Emmett, "Jealous of Lauren's advances on me?" Even though I was taunting Bella, waiting for that blush to come, I wanted to make it clear that it hadn't been me who had been hitting on Lauren, but vice versa.

"_Jealous_?" repeated Bella in shock, anger quickly overcoming her features. I waited in anticipation for the blush to come, and when it did, I felt myself smirk more in delight of the beauty I was admiring. Slight longing was also there, wishing that Bella would, in fact, be jealous of Lauren trying to be with me. Wishful thinking, I scolded myself, ignoring the small pang in my chest.

I heard something close to the sound a pig makes – but then I realized it was just Lauren snorting. "Probably," commented Lauren. I became annoyed quickly, angry that even though Bella and I were heading towards an argument, Lauren was still interrupting the Bella-Edward time.

"Lauren," I said, attempting to be charming. "Isn't your lunch break over?" Alright, it wasn't exactly subtle. Lauren most likely wouldn't be mad at _me_ and even if she was, I wouldn't care. I'd probably actually prefer it so she would stay the hell away from me.

Lauren untangled her nasty hands away from me reluctantly, before stomping out the door (but not without bumping into Bella purposefully, which made me glower at Lauren's retreating figure.) It was quiet for a few moments as I moved away from the copy machine so Bella could do her job… or, er, Lauren's job.

I watched Bella make copies in intrigue – the way her brow crinkled slightly as she looked for the right button, the way she licked her delicious lips, the way she bent over to make sure the copy machine was plugged in…

I decided to break the silence, despite the fact that I was perfectly content in just watching her.

"Are you _sure_ you're not jealous?" I said into her gorgeously thick hair. My hands were aching to lie on her perfect stomach and pull her close to me. The longing for her to actually be jealous was almost unbearably painful. I was killing myself slowly by my need for this angel.

_Such a fucking masochist_. What a desirable trait.

Not.

She whirled quickly to face me, and I could see the furious blush on her face.

She was so beautiful.

Our chests were touching. I felt my hands twitch with the desire to just crush her body to mine. I fought with the almost overwhelming urges and won, but just barely. Part of me just told me to do it – but that was the more daring side. I chose to side with my logical, horrified by rejection side.

What if Bella would laugh and scowl and completely humiliate me by not returning her affections? I could practically see the scorn on her face when I told her how desperately in love with her I was.

My brain could picture the horrible scene. Bella would say: "You freaking idiot, how the hell did you ever get it into your _puny_ mind that I could ever love someone like you?" And then she would skip off into the sunset with Mike Newton.

Mike Newton was probably the only thing worst than rejection from Bella.

The silly, beautiful girl's voice cut into my thoughts like a knife (which, she probably wanted to throw at me.) "I'm positive," she replied heatedly. Steam was practically rolling off of her in waves. Holy hell, she was angry. Be careful, Edward, my mind warned. My human instinct was practically blaring out warning signs, but my mouth seemed to be detached from my brain.

"It's okay to admit you like me," I told her nonchalantly. It really amazed me how calm I seemed while my brain was raging war on my obviously loose tongue. _Stop being a dill hole! _My brain was shouting.

Truth be told, it would be okay to admit that. Really okay. In fact, it would be fantastic if she admitted she even liked me with the tiniest ounce of her being.

"You are so _infuriating_," Bella hissed.

My detached mouth continued on stupidly, "I mean, lots and lots – and I mean _lots_ – find me irresistibly attractive. It's only natural you feel the same –" Nice fucking going Cullen! That was so high school, telling a girl you're into how hot you are. Esme would be so ashamed. I was sounding like the most arrogant prick in the world… which is saying something, since I've met Mike Newton and his belief that he's "God's gifts to bitches" (his words, not mine) in the form of a mail man – his favorite pick up line is "I know how to _deliver_," followed by a couple of winks here and there.

I had agreed with him at the time, telling him that the technical term for bitches was a female dog, and that any mutt would probably consider giving him a lick or two. He's hated me ever since.

By now, Bella was trembling in unconcealed rage. I wondered what were the statistics of her thinking I was teasing – which I kind of was, because I sure as hell wasn't serious.

Bella was now speaking in an extremely quiet voice. Truthfully, it scared me shitless. "I do not find you irresistibly attractive." Well, I'm screwed if she doesn't like my looks, because I know it's impossible for her to like my personality by the way I had been treating her. "I think you're a cocky, conceited asshole–"

"Bella –" I tried. I didn't want her to insult me repeatedly, letting me know how vile she thought I was and how (though indirectly) I would never stand a chance with her. I didn't want to hear it, because it hurt too fucking much.

_You deserve it_, my brain whispered tauntingly. _It's your own fault for being the worst asshole dickhead in the world._ I agreed miserably. I screwed so much up.

"– that has his head stuck up his ass," – she sure knew how to paint a picture, that Bella, I thought both sadly and fondly – "and is too busy to notice not everything revolves around _him_ –"

No, Bella, I corrected mentally, everything to _me_ revolves around _you_.

"Bella, I didn't mean–" I attempted again. I shouldn't have been so naïve to think that would work.

"– and is such a prick and man whore –" Bella ranted on. The little part of me that was not disgusted with my entire being was starting to feel defensive. Inadvertently, Bella had led me down the path of man whorisms by making me fall in love with her and then being so unreachable, untouchable… The rest of me felt like she was perfectly just in her words, and took them like a dog who had behaved badly – my figurative tail was in between my legs. I noticed then that I rather disliked being compared to a dog, in fact, I despised it. I didn't have time to ponder that thought after my mind decided to make one last futile attempt to talk Bella into relaxing a little.

"Bella, please, I was just–" …Being an asshole? Confused on how I should act around you? Trying to understand how to deal with being in love with you because I've never felt anything like this with another girl before? Or D, all of the above?

And then she said it – the words that were always a possibility but hadn't come into reality until now. The ones that seemed to drive a stake into my heart. The ones that made my heart literally stop beating, then pick up at a rapid speed that was most likely incredibly unhealthy. The ones that seemed to rip through my body, my heart, my mind, and my soul.

"I _hate_ you."

I couldn't move as I felt the overwhelming devastation hit me in waves, continually. They crashed onto me harder and harder each time. I barely registered when Bella walked out, slamming the door behind her. I vaguely recall slumping into a chair or pulling at my hair in frustration. I don't really remember that I didn't seem to blink. I didn't notice that much of Lauren coming in and trying to coo at me or something, because I upped and left. My brain didn't seem to get any of those facts when they were happening, but rather the after effects let me know what was happening.

My back and scalp hurt. My eyes were stinging and they itched with dryness. I felt a disgusting crawling at the thought of Lauren's hands trying to 'soothe' me.

I walked into Mr. Banner's office, telling him I had to go home – "Anything you need, m'boy!"

I don't remember the taxi ride home, or the elevator, or opening my door. I went into my dark, dismal bedroom with the curtains closed as well as the door. I sat on the bed, just sitting. Staring. Trying to think but everything came out all screwed up. My brain would not – could not – make sense of anything I was attempting to feed it. Trying to avoid the pain that just kept on crashing down. Would it ever stop?

No. Probably not.

Bella's voice echoed in my throbbing ears: "_I hate you. I hate you. I hate you_."

And it was my fault. I had screwed up everything with my cocky exterior because I thought girls wanted it. I was just like the damn shit head, Mike Newton – an idiot when it came to women. I hadn't been desirable to Bella – I had just been the fucking asshole she had to work with.

I fucked up so badly.

Remember the mallet I wanted to hit my head with, over and over again? Yeah, well, scratch the mallet, turn it into the largest fucking piano you can find and let it fall on me.

* * *

"Edward."

Emmett's voice was uncharacteristically quiet. I didn't bother to respond to my name. I just stayed where I was, lying on the bed, staring at the wall. The wall had been keeping me preoccupied for several hours. I should have gotten up to eaten, but I didn't. I only got up to go to the bathroom, because, as soiled as I already was, I doubted if my body could take any more soiling.

"Edward."

Alice was here too, apparently. _It's amazing how news traveled so fast_, my brain admired without inflection, but rather in a monotone. Normally, I would respond to Alice no matter what because I was afraid of her ass kicking (pathetic, I know.) But today, I almost wanted her to kick my ass verbally. I felt like I deserved it for being such a fucktard and messing up all my chances with Bella. Please, Alice, I tried telepathically, Kick my ass. I deserve it.

There was a sigh. Probably from Alice, because Emmett's sighs were like gusts of wind. Emmett's noise came next. It was an impatient grunt of irritation. He and Rosalie both did that. I wondered who picked it up from whom.

"Do you think he's gone, like… inward?" asked Emmett to Alice.

He had better not being talking about my dick, because that was perfectly intact, unlike my emotional being.

"What?" she snapped. Alice was probably thinking along the same lines as I was. Neither of us appreciated where Emmett's thought seemed to have taken, though I made no motion or sound to show my displeasure.

Emmett, as always, ignored her tone. "You know, like how some of those autistic kids attention is inward?" Ah. So he _was_ thinking of a head, just not the one I had been thinking of. Usually it was the opposite way around. Amazing how things change... I felt another wave of pain crash on me and I cringed before putting my face back into an emotionless mask.

"I don't think autism is something you can just acquire," Alice said testily. "You can usually tell by three years old." I could almost feel the waves of impatience and anger coming off of her. Alice hated my little self hatred stuff and when Emmett says stuff that doesn't make sense. We fit the category of 'Annoying Older Brothers' perfectly.

"Could he have been…I don't know… Suppressing it all these years?" He was grasping at straws now, like he always did when he was figuring out he was wrong.

"I doubt it," replied my sister snippily. She was done with this conversation. They were silent for a few moments, probably trying to determine what to say to me. They didn't seem to realize that there was nothing they _could_ say.

I wanted them gone so I could wallow in my sorrow alone. I decided to take care of this business quickly so they could be on their merry way while I drifted in between numbness and pain.

"What are you guys doing here?" I asked emotionlessly. My voice was raspy. How fucking cliché.

They were quiet for a little longer before Emmett answered softly, "I talked to Rosalie who talked to Bella" – I winced at her name – "a little while ago. Bella told Rosalie what happened." I could picture the conversation almost. It was filled with lots of laughing and mocking on my part – throw in a couple of "fucking dumb ass, dip shit!" from Rosalie and eventually Bella, and there you go.

"Edward…" Alice said hesitatingly, "She was probably just angry."

I felt rage engulf me. How the hell did she know? Bella hated me – for real – because I was a fucking asshole. I deserved to be miserable.

"Rosalie said Bella doesn't really hate you," Emmett chipped in hopefully.

That caught my attention slightly. "Did Bella actually say that?" I asked flatly.

"Well… no," admitted Emmett, and I felt myself losing interest. "But you know Rosalie can read Bella better than a Cosmopolitan magazine, and she wouldn't lie…"

"Then you don't know anything," I said fiercely. I sat up quickly, my head spinning from the fast movement. I just wanted to bury myself in a hole and never resurface.

I realized I had said my last thought out loud, because something in Alice snapped. "Edward, I am getting so fucking sick of this self hate stuff you do! God, I don't even know why you do it! You don't impress anyone; just make people become annoyed with you!"

"I don't care what anyone thinks of me, besides Bella. And she _hates_ me," I snapped.

Alice didn't even seem to hear me; like I said before, when she starts her verbal ass kicking there is no way to stop her. "Do you think Bella would ever want a person who only brings himself down one minute, and then acts like a conceited asshole the next? You're so hot and cold sometimes, Edward. Don't you have any fucking middle ground?"

"No," I told her petulantly.

Alice rolled her eyes before glaring at me. "Yes you do, Dickward. Now, get up. You're going to Angela's party."

"Why the fuck would I do that?"

"Because Bella will be there," stated Alice as if it was obvious.

"And why would I want to see her?" I questioned furiously. "I'm over Bella." _What?_ my mind screamed as I made the stupid (and incredibly untrue) statement. Well, it was now certain I was screwed up – my mouth seems to refuse to listen to my brain.

Emmett snorted. "Which is why you're practically gone comatose."

"Hey! It's hard getting over… things… and now I'm over her. As of right now. See?" I spread out my arms idiotically, as if it were to mean something.

Alice's fists clenched. "See what I mean? Hot and cold! Barely a few minutes ago you were talking about how all you care about is Bella's opinion!" I didn't know what to say to that, because she was right. "Stop being so defensive and just be Edward, not Assward."

"Your many variations of my name astound me," I said sarcastically. "And I'm not going."

Emmett looked at me. "Considering it's a club, you might want to watch out for Bella." I opened my mouth to argue, but he cut me off. "Horny guys go to clubs and despite being 'over Bella'," he said, making quotations with his hands as I seethed quietly. "I doubt you'd want any harm to come to her."

My ego deflated once again. If any harm were to come to Bella, the pain I was feeling now would only be a hundredth – no, a thousandth – of what I would feel.

Emmett was right. Alice was right. Why couldn't I just be Edward, the man Esme and Carlisle raised, around Bella? God, I had been such an idiot… like I acknowledged for the 800th time today.

"So are you going?" hedged Alice. "Because it's really not an option, but I'd like to let you think you still have some free will here."

I got up and started the shower in response.

* * *

Alice left shortly after I had gotten dressed in the clothes she picked out, leaving me in Emmett's care. She gave him specific instructions: if he sees me becoming pouty or get "that look Edward gets when he becomes Self-Hatredward" then Emmett is supposed to talk me down or slap me.

Basically, I was being babysat.

"This is unnecessary," I said as we drove to the club. Emmett had already started his eagle eye watch on me. "You don't need to watch me."

Emmett shot me a look. "Edward, I've known you since you were born. We both know that isn't true." Uh, I didn't. I really didn't think he needed to watch me. I started to tell my brother this, but he shook his head and spoke over me. "No, you're not allowed to argue. Alice said so."

"And you're going to take orders from your little sister?" I said in a snarky voice.

"Obviously, Dumbass," he said in the same tone that I did.

I huffed, sliding slower in the seat and crossing my arms. "You're such a child," observed Emmett. I raised an eyebrow at him. Me? Compared to him?

"You steal change off my counter!" I said exasperatedly. "_And_ you call a vagina a 'va-jay-jay'! You're calling _me_ childish?"

"Remember when you were ten and you asked Grandmother Platt what a clitoris was?" laughed Emmett. I hated that memory – my grandmother sent me to a priest and I sat in confession for three hours with the priest continually asking me about my "sexual sins," even after I told him I was only ten and barely knew what a vagina was. That sent him into another rousing two hour conversation and countless parables that I didn't understand.

Emmett had been the one who told me to ask Grandma what a clitoris was.

"And," I told him blandly, "do you recall that you ran threw a rose field naked, and mom had to pick out thorns from your ass?" My brother winced.

"You slept in mom and dad's bed until you were seven!" Emmett snapped.

"And you wet your racecar bed until you were thirteen," I snickered.

Emmett's mouth dropped before it came together in a tight line. As he shook his head slowly, he said sullenly, "Low blow, brother, low blow…"

Needless to say, I was in a fairly good mood on the ride to the club.

* * *

The atmosphere was sweaty, loud, and lusty.

Ah, clubs. Always the same.

Angela was sitting beside Ben, a short, Asian man who looked like he had just won a million bucks and more. Occasionally, the couple would meet each other's eyes and there would be pure love and adoration flowing between them, making me turn away.

I kept my face neutral for Emmett's sake, but my stomach was all in knots. I wanted what they had, but with Bella. It was amazing how much I could screw something up so much.

The feeling of a scaly hand attaching to my forearm brought my thoughts back down to earth. I turned to meet Lauren's small, excited eyes.

"Fancy seeing you here!" she squealed and giggled.

Flatly I informed her that we had already discussed that I would be here earlier this morning at work.

She hit her head lightly with her palm. "Duh!" she continued to giggle. "Silly me!"

Lord, kill me now. Seriously, just strike me down with a lightning bolt. And if you're aim just _happens_ to go amiss and hits Lauren, well… that's alright too.

Lauren began to fill up my ears with mindless chatter that I didn't bother listening to. My source of escape came through a giggling Jessica, who came up to Lauren. She started rapidly talking excitedly and captured Lauren's attention long enough for me to slip away stealthily, like James Bond.

It's Cullen. Edward Cullen. Agent Double 'O' Idiot.

Damn, I'm such a fucking loser.

Placing myself far from Lauren, I leaned against a wall and began looking around for Bella. She might not want to talk to me or see me or even acknowledge my existence, but I had to make sure she was okay. Even though it wouldn't work out between us (_Which is your fault, genius,_ snapped my asshole of a Brain), I still wanted to make sure she was okay. I scanned the dance floor and caught sight of long, brown hair, flashes of porcelain skin, and an incredible ass. Oh yes. I'd stared at the ass long enough to recognize it anywhere.

My mouth went dry. Damn. Bella was fucking beautiful.

And then I saw a man go up to her. My heart stopped as she stopped dancing to listen to what he was saying. Don't dance with him, Bella, I pleaded internally, because I don't think I can take it. But – oh, no – she shrugged and the motherfucking asshole danced with her for a song. My fists clenched painfully. I crossed my arms against my chest to keep myself from doing anything rash to make Bella hate me even _more_ – ah, she's dancing alone now. I felt myself relax a little as she moved away from the asshole, but then felt myself tense once more as she began swaying her hips. My breath quickened slightly – man, she was halfway across the room without even knowing I was there and she _still_ affected me. Ridiculous… but it _was_ Bella, after all.

This process went on for sometime; assholes flocked to Bella left and right and she would dance with most of them for only one song, no longer, but it still made it incredibly hard for me not to lose my shit. And then when she danced by herself it made myself incredibly hard in general, and I wanted nothing more than to slide behind her and _feel_ her hips sway. I was momentarily just lost in her as Bella threw her hands in the air and laughed, wonderfully carefree and perfect and beautiful. I caught my breath, and I angrily wondered to myself why _I_ never even tried to make her feel that way. As my heart sunk horribly, my thoughts continued to the fact that all I ever did was piss her off… and watch her dance like some pathetic stalker.

It was then that Bella finally looked at me and met my eyes with her gorgeous, brown, doe eyes. I couldn't look away, even if I tried. We stared at each other for some time before she finally dragged her eyes away from me and left the dance floor, grabbing Rosalie's arm and pulling her along.

I sighed and watched them go, not moving for several moments. And the only reason I did eventually move was a claw grasped at my arm with a bird like screech of "Eddie!"

"Um, hey, Lauren…"

* * *

Lauren had placed me on a leather couch and began talking rapidly. I honestly couldn't tell you half of what she told. Hell, I couldn't tell you 98% of what she told me. Lauren just chatted on and on and on and I couldn't be bothered to try to keep up, not like I particularly wanted to.

The Secretary from Hell seemed to notice my lack of attention to whatever she was tittering about, because she told me with a wink that she'd bring me a drink to "loosen me up." I nearly snorted. Yeah. What the fuck ever.

I blankly stared out onto the mass of moving shapes, not really seeing anything. I contemplated an attempt of making my great escape, but I felt drained. I just wanted to sit and not think since Bella said that she… well, said what she said. Of course, my Conscious argued irritably, _not_ thinking is what got you into this mess in the first place. I gritted my teeth. Too bad my conscious wasn't a real, physical person, 'cause I'd punch his lights out just for some peace and quiet from the regret.

Next thing I knew, I was jostled and the beautiful scent that I had admired for so long permeated the air. Bella. This had to be some sort of sick joke, my mind screamed. But no, my eyes said, as I turned to Bella, surprised. The shock wore off quickly as I sobered. Was she here to insult me more? Tell me she… _hated_ me again? I felt bile rise up in my throat. Before I could excuse myself to suffer alone, Bella wrapped her arm around my shoulder.

"Hey Edward!" she said enthusiastically.

What the fuck? My mind raced at this abrupt change in mood.

"I thought you hated me." As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I wanted to slap myself. Of all the things to say, I thought of the one thing probably neither one of us wanted to bring up. Idiot, idiot, idiot.

But what she said in reply pleasantly surprised me, and I was somewhat glad I had asked the question. "No, no, no," Bella told me, moving her pretty head back and forth quickly. "You're too pretty."

Pretty? I raised my eyebrows and tried not to scrunch my nose up. Yes, Bella _was_ adorable when she was so obviously tipsy, but did she have to call me _pretty_? Couldn't it have been something like, I don't know, devastatingly handsome? Or just… hot? Nevertheless, I was amused, and my ego did enjoy whatever boost it could get from Bella. "You think so?" I asked unnecessarily, preening.

"Yesssss," Bella replied rapidly, elongating the word. "You are _gorgeous_." I almost felt myself blush. "Very, very sex-ay." For some reason, her pronunciation was strange, but it seemed to crack her up as she began to giggle. It was very cute, and I laughed quietly.

She quieted and began to tug softly on my hair. "You have a pretty laugh," she complimented, nearly whispering. It was amazing I even heard her. The pressure of the tugs on my scalp made me nearly groan as she continued to play with my hair.

"Really?" I said.

"Uh huh," was her reply, and she sounded almost dazed.

Well, Cullen, might as well put it all out there. Taking a deep breath, I steeled my resolve.

"Well, I think you're beautiful," I told her honestly.

Bella sounded awed as she said, "Really?" I almost wanted to laugh. Of course, you silly girl, I thought fondly. How could I not?

In response to her childlike wonder, I decided to go further with my confession. "Yes Bella," I said, then paused. I sighed. "So, so much. More so than anyone else." And it was true.

But then she stood up quickly, and once again I wanted to smack myself. Way to go, Cullen.

I felt the disappointment and hurt overtake me until she straddled my lap, grinding slightly. I tried to keep a calm face even though I felt blood rush further south.

Be still, my throbbing dick.

…And my heart. That too.

I was momentarily distracted by fantastic cleavage, but soon I looked up into her gorgeous face and smiled brightly at her. No smirk, just a genuine, happy smile. She looked awed again as she leaned in toward my face. As I stared into her chocolate brown eyes, I realized she looked completely serious, and then she said –

"I don't hate you."

And she kissed me, and it was wonderful, and amazing, and beautiful, and everything I ever wanted, and so many more adjectives that a publisher _should_ know, but not when he's getting kissed like this. As she let me explore her sweet mouth, I pulled her tightly against me. I wanted to feel every curve, and I just wanted her closer, closer, and closer. My hands wandered as Bella rocked against me, causing me to grunt as she moaned, sounding breathless. I grew impossibly harder at her sweet sounds.

A screech came from outside my focus on Bella. The gorgeous girl on top of me ripped her mouth from mine, and I mourned the loss immediately. I vaguely registered Lauren's returned presence before turning back to watch Bella. She was perfect, with full pink lips swollen, because of _me_.

She stared back at me, and for a moment, I forgot who I was. Finally, she pulled her gaze away from me and focused on Lauren.

"You slut!" screamed Lauren. I winced at the pitch, and then I became indignant at her words. Before I could say anything, however, Bella spoke.

"I thought we clarified who the slut was this morning." Her voice sounded off, but her message was clear. I heard Emmett and Rosalie laugh. I looked at them in surprise. When did they get here? Deciding it didn't matter, I returned my attention to Bella and grinned. I put my arms around her waist, wanting to just hold her to me and show everyone this angel wanted _me_.

The moment would've been perfect if only A) Bella and I were naked, B) Bella declared undying love for me and said she would be the mother of my children, and C) Lauren shut up. Reason C obviously wasn't happening, because Lauren continued to babble on. "I can't believe you're trying to steal _my_ Edward away from me!"

...Is she fucking serious? Maybe I should rent a billboard that says, 'Hey, Lauren Mallory, please shut the fuck up. Edward Cullen does NOT like you. Have a nice day.'

I snorted, and peering around Bella, I said, "_Your_ Edward?" Time to declare who had the real ownership over me. "If I'm owned by anyone, it's –" I didn't finish my thoughts aloud, though, because Bella gave a scream. My eyes flashed to her quickly, scanning for any possible harm.

She seemed fine, but then she started wiggling, and _wow_. I bit down on my lip to keep from groaning as she rubbed along my hardness. I think I saw her eyes glaze slightly with pleasure, wet mouth drifting open slightly… I felt dazed. And then she climbed off.

Wait, what? _Don't get off!_ my dick pleaded. _Stay and I'll get _both_ of us off!_

When I looked up in her doe eyes, I knew. Oh, no. "I can't believe I just –" Bella said frantically.

Oh, shit, oh, shit, oh, shit. No, no, no, no.

"Bella –" I tried, feeling the panic edge its way through my system.

Bella grabbed Rosalie by the hand and after shouting a frantic goodbye to Emmett, the two disappeared in the mass of sweaty people.

Lauren gave Emmett a lustful once-over, causing him to shake his head disgustedly in return. She then turned to me, whining, "Eddie –"

My brother glared at her. "Go," he commanded. Lauren began to splutter in indignation, but Emmett ignored her. "_Go!_" he barked again. The blonde skulked off.

Emmett threw himself down next to me, releasing a breath. "Your girlfriend took my girlfriend with her," he pouted. "Now I'm not getting any tonight."

I didn't say anything in return and just let him sulk. I was still frozen. I couldn't move. I could barely breathe. Emmett was so wrong. Bella was not my girlfriend, and I was definitely not her boyfriend. All I'd ever be was a regret.

* * *

It was Monday. I'd spent a weekend feeling sorry for myself, and for the first time since Bella started working at the office, I had to drag myself to work. I almost wanted to stay home and sulk more, but even after everything, part of me still wanted to see Bella.

I was heading down the door of the office when Bella walked in, not even noticing me. That was great for my ego.

_Say something!_ my mind shouted. I scrambled for something to say. Should I bring up Friday night? Should I just come out and say how much I was hurt and then beg for a chance? Should I tell her that even though I loved her, she was kind of a tease on Friday, but that was okay because she could climb on my lap anytime?

Thankfully, I didn't say any of that. "Hello, Bella," I said quietly, announcing my presence. She froze briefly before scanning my face with her big brown eyes. Something obviously bothered her, because a little wrinkle in her forehead appeared. Feeling self-conscious, I shifted uncomfortably.

"Hi, Edward," Bella replied tonelessly… like she didn't give a damn about me. I'd be lying if I said that was at least better than when she told me she hated me. Hatred implied emotion, and thus was _not_ the opposite of love. No emotion at all, however, probably was.

It must've showed on my face, because sweet Bella's face flashed with regret before going back into a smooth mask.

"Bella, can I –" I started, not even knowing what I was going to say.

Bella spoke when I paused slightly, her voice sounding kind of panicky. "Sorry Edward. I have lots of raunchy romances to edit." Her eyes widened as she seemed to realize what she said, and a faint blush filled her cheeks before she strode past me towards her cubicle.

I almost smiled. Even when I was feeling miserable, I couldn't fail to notice how cute Bella Swan was.

* * *

During the afternoon, I passed by Bella's cubicle in hopes of maybe talking to her again. She was too distracted by a manuscript that she didn't notice how I walked by her cubicle three times. I was already posed to go for a fourth round, but I switched my direction and headed to the elevator. Lauren tried getting my attention, and I nodded in acknowledgement like a gentleman, but I didn't pay any attention to what she might've said.

I hit the button for the floor below and walked into the office of a car magazine, looking for a certain blonde.

I finally found Rosalie, sitting at her cubicle playing with Hot Wheels toys. I snorted as I leaned on the short walls. "Now I finally understand how you and Emmett are compatible," I said. She sneered at me in response.

"What do you want, Edward?" she asked, getting to the point with a slightly unfriendly tone. Rosalie wasn't exactly a fan of mine, but I knew from Emmett that she thought Bella was a good match for me.

"It's about Bella," I began.

"_What did you do?_" snapped Rosalie, standing up. I backed off from her cubicle, slightly scared. I raised my hands up in a surrendering gesture.

"Why do you always assume that I did something?" I said defensively.

She gave me a look that she often gave Emmett when he was acting especially childish. "Because you usually do!" she retorted as if it were obvious.

I paused. "Touché," I shrugged in a self-deprecatory way. "But I didn't do anything except walk by her cubicle –" I wasn't going to mention how many times, of course. "–And just happened to notice she probably hasn't had lunch yet. She's really absorbed in the manuscript she's editing."

Rosalie's face softened. "Edward –" she started, guilt seeping into her tone.

"Can you just get her something?" I asked, feeling annoyed. I didn't want her pity. "I'd do it myself, but I don't think she likes me very much," I continued wryly.

Bella's best friend considered me for a moment. "You know Edward," Rosalie said, "You're actually kind of sweet. Now I finally understand how you and Emmett are related."

I rolled my eyes, feeling embarrassed. "Just... make sure she eats, okay?" I stayed only long enough for her to give me a confirmation nod in response, heading back to up to my office.

* * *

I wasn't paying attention to the manuscript I was editing when there was a knock at my office door. "Come in!" I called. Mr. Banner poked his balding head in, grinning.

"Mr. Cullen!" he bellowed jovially. "How goes De Ja Vu's sequel?"

"Uh," I said. How could I tell him I barely read through it? Might as well just be honest… "I haven't really gotten around to it, sir... At least, not as much as I would've liked to."

Mr. Banner's brow furrowed. "This story of high most importance, Mr. Cullen!" he said seriously, but then he smiled. "No worries, though, m'boy!" He grabbed the manuscript I had been half-editing and went on. "I'll just hand this one off to an intern!"

"Uh," I repeated. And then guiltily, I shook my head. "No, sir, that's alright, I don't want to cause trouble –"

"It's no trouble for me at all!" said my boss, chuckling. "Walk with me, Cullen," he commanded, and we left my office.

"Well," I said, "I'm glad it's no trouble for you, sir." I tried to keep myself from being sarcastic. "But I don't want the interns to have anymore trouble because of me."

Mr. Banner scoffed. "They're all dying to edit something, Cullen." He led me towards his office. "Still, as it is, Mr. Cullen, I'm somewhat surprised you haven't finished editing De Ja Vu's sequel yet."

"Sorry, sir," I replied solemnly. He opened the door and we walked inside. "But I've been…" I stopped, not really knowing. Finally, after Mr. Banner's prompting, I just said, "Distracted."

"Well, if you need anytime off work…" offered Mr. Banner.

"No!" My refusal was out of my mouth before I could stop it. "I mean," I said more calmly, "I don't need anytime off, I'm fine. The manuscript will be done soon, sir."

Mr. Banner laughed. "Good, good, Edward, I'm glad to – Miss Swan!" My eyes darted to the brown haired beauty climbing out from under the desk. Mmm... Bella under a desk... Bella under _my_ desk... The same full, wet lips from Friday night glistening while being wrapped around my – I stopped those fantasies as my pants got tight. I tried to calm down as I vaguely registered Bella going on about some ridiculous pen story. I sighed sadly. Was I really _that_ bad that she had to climb under our boss's desk to hide from me?

After a little more of her – adorable – nervous rambling, Mr. Banner dismissed her. She met my gaze quickly with wide eyes, and my own eyes followed her as she left. They lingered for a few seconds on the door before I turned back to face Mr. Banner. He was smirking at me.

"You know, Mr. Cullen," he said, "The company doesn't have anything against inter-office romance."

"Uh," I said for the third time that day. Articulate, I know.

I think for the first time ever, Mr. Banner ignored me. "She's very pretty, isn't she?" he went on, still grinning.

"Beautiful," I murmured.

"Well, Edward," Mr. Banner said, leaning back. "Go, as you kids say now a days, _get some_."

I gaped.

* * *

Rosalie found me later in the afternoon after I had picked up coffee.

"You shouldn't be drinking that so late," she commented, all know-it-all-like.

I rolled my eyes and drank the coffee anyway.

"So what's your game plan?" she demanded.

I furrowed my brow at her. "What?"

Rosalie rolled her eyes at me. "What are you going to do to make my best friend fall in love with you?"

"I don't think that's really a possibility right now," I said, narrowing my eyes at her. "She doesn't seem to even care I exist." My shoulders slumped as I finally said it out loud.

"Are you sure?"

I tried not to glare at her, I really did. "Rosalie," I said, gritting my teeth. "I'm pretty _fucking_ positive Bella wants absolutely nothing to do with me."

Rosalie looked affronted, and then she tsked. "No need to be vulgar. What happened?" I told her all about how I tried to talk to Bella this morning and how she hid under a fucking desk to hide from me.

When I finished, Rosalie was glaring at me like I was an idiot. "What?" I said suspiciously.

"You two are so _stupid_."

"She is not!" I immediately snapped. Rosalie raised an eyebrow, and I felt the tips of my ears heat up. "And neither am I!" I added less confidently.

"Shut up, Edward," Rosalie said as we traveled up the elevator. She sighed, and her voice took on a softer tone. "Come on. You and I both know how good you and Bella would be together."

I coughed out a doubtful laugh before I was quiet for a couple of moments as I lost my ire. "Yeah," I sighed, feeling exhausted and emotionally drained. I turned to my coffee for solace, and Rosalie rolled her eyes again.

"As that is," Rosalie pushed forward. "You're just going to have to tell her that you're in love with her. She's not going to realize otherwise, because she's so oblivious to anything that has to do with herself."

I nearly choked on my drink. "Are you insane?" I asked incredulously. "She'd only reject me and call me an idiot. Things have to be handled delicately, if they're handled at all." Rosalie scoffed. "Maybe I should…" I swallowed, and then tried again. "Maybe I should just leave Bella alone. That's probably what she wants." Rosalie's eyes widened.

"No!" Rosalie said fiercely. "You will _not _give up!"

"Rosalie," I said in a resigned tone. I pulled at my hair as an outlet for my frustrations.

The elevator arrived on my floor, and Rosalie followed me out. She was quiet for a second, but then she spoke. "Edward, I just don't understand why –"

"You didn't _see_ what happened," I said, not wanting to talk about this anymore. She narrowed her eyes at me, but I wasn't going to take the words back and let her continue to think she knew as much as she thought she did. Rosalie _didn't_ see Bella's attempts to avoid me or pretend like she didn't give a fuck about me. I might've told her the story, but she couldn't know how I felt. Emmett had never done anything like that to her before.

Of course, Rosalie probably didn't deserve the treatment like I did, but still.

Despite my dismissal of the subject, Rosalie wasn't ready to give up. "Why won't you just –"

"_Because_," I gritted, clenching my fists briefly. I sighed and unclenched. "I don't want to screw this up... I've already done enough of that." Ain't that the fucking truth. "She matters to much to me," I continued honestly, and I vaguely registered Lauren talking, but even with Esme's gentleman training, I couldn't be bothered to reply. "And I'd do anything for her. I can't rush things, Rosalie." If I do anything at all now, I added to myself.

Rosalie scoffed. "You have to, if you want anything to get into her head!" I groaned, rubbing my forehead.

"Look, I don't want to talk about this anymore," I pleaded. "Not right now, please."

My words obviously did nothing to Rosalie, as she remained undeterred as she pushed forward. "Bella's completely oblivious when it comes to anything about her! She doesn't notice you like her, she doesn't realize how pretty she is, and she _still_ doesn't know Emmett throws popcorn in her hair at the movies!"

"Emmett throws popcorn at Bella?" I asked, irritated. Rosalie waved that away as mere minor detail. "I can see how she wouldn't know that I like her, I was kind of an asshole," I said.

"Kind of?" Rosalie snorted. I glared at her. I knew it, but I didn't like the reiteration of the fact. "Look, Ed," – she ignored my grimace at the shortening of my name – "I really am trying to help, which is why I'm telling you what to do. So just fucking tell her the truth."

"Yeah, I'll think about that," I replied dryly. Rosalie's eyes narrowed at me and she opened her mouth to pitch a fit at me, but I luckily spotted Mr. Banner. "Mr. Banner!" I called. "Have you met Rosalie?" She gasped at my audacity, and I winked at her.

Mr. Banner ambled over delightedly, his eyes running over Rosalie's face. "Oh, yes, I believe we've met briefly, but not long enough, I say. I saw her earlier today in fact. You seem to spend quiet some time in our part of the building, my dear..." He continued to ramble on, and Rosalie smiled charmingly like she did when she pretended she had manners, but as soon as Mr. Banner looked away momentarily she gave me a glare of death.

I gave her a thumbs up and escaped to my office.

* * *

I left my office later, luckily seeing no sign of Rosalie. I honestly did feel a little bad about sticking her with Mr. Banner, especially when she was just trying to help, but I needed time to consider what she was saying. The thing about Rosalie was she was very no-nonsense and always wanted an answer right away. I liked to weigh my options, preferably alone without my brother's girlfriend breathing down my neck impatiently.

I heated up leftovers even though I was craving Thai food. When I sat down to eat, my phone rang, and I grabbed it dully. "Hello?" I said.

"Edward!" replied Alice excitedly. "You'll never believe what happened today!"

I rolled my eyes, not in the mood for one of Alice's long, drawn-out stories. I just wanted to eat and then sulk. "What?" I asked flatly.

My younger sister picked up on my tone and sniffed. "Drop the attitude, Edward. You'll want to hear this." I rolled my eyes but didn't say anything, and I suppose she thought that was enough. "I met a lovely girl today and I just know we're going to be best friends!"

"Exciting," I mumbled, picking at my food.

"Yes, it certainly was!" Alice gushed. "I told her all about our childhood stories, and she just thought they were hilarious! She had some interesting stories, too, of course, but she said they didn't compare to ours!" I made sounds of assent as she talked, not really caring what she was saying. "Oh! And then," she giggled, "I told her about that rooster next door chasing you around, and Bella thought–"

My ears perked up. "_Bella?_" I asked incredulously.

I could practically hear Alice smirking. "Oh, yes. Did I forget to mention it was Bella Swan, from your office? I'm Angela's wedding planner." My mind was working fast as I tried to remember all that Alice said when I was only paying half-attention to her story. I almost dropped the phone in horror. Did Alice say _rooster_?

"Alice," I moaned, humiliated. "You told her about Mr. Doodle-Doo?"

My sister snorted. "I didn't bring up the ridiculous name, of course, but I did mention it chasing you into your teens years."

"Fucking hell," I muttered, embarrassed. That rooster was sent straight from Hell, and I swore it was possessed and wouldn't rest until I was six feet under. I almost threw a fucking party when it finally croaked.

Alice was still giggling when I was pulled out of my thoughts of that awful, demonic bird. "Alice, I can't believe yo–" I said, pissed.

"Sorry, Edward, I got to go!" she trilled.

"Alice, don't you dare–" I said furiously, but she had hung up. I tried dialing her, but it went straight to voicemail. "Damn it," I said frustrated. I stewed for several minutes before my phone rang again. "Alice?" I snapped without looking at the Caller ID.

"Edward?" said Emmett, not sounding at all like his usual jovial self. "Did you sic Mr. Banner on Rosalie?" I froze for a second. She told him? That tattletale!

"Sorry," I said quickly. "Wrong number."

"Edw–" tried Emmett angrily. I hung up, feeling like I was Alice. I put my phone on silent and actually considered Rosalie's advice as I ate my lukewarm dinner.

* * *

Tuesday at the office, I was once again on the hunt for staples. Even though the theory sounded crazy in my head, I wouldn't say Lauren was above stealing staples from me to draw me out of my office. I shuddered as I walked toward the copy and supply room, only to be accosted by Lauren.

Alright, maybe that theory wasn't so ridiculous.

"Eddie!" Lauren squealed.

"Edward, please," I muttered as my stride picked up pace. Unfortunately, Lauren kept up.

"It was so unfortunate that we didn't get that much time together at the club on Friday. Maybe we could fix that this weekend…?" she trailed off suggestively.

"Sorry, Lauren," I lied. "I'm busy this weekend." I opened the copy room's door a crack, hoping I could wedge my body through the small opening.

Not easily deterred, Lauren pushed, "How about next Saturday, then?"

"Uh, next Saturday?" I repeated. She nodded excitedly and gave me a once over, licking her collagen infused lips. I shuddered. "I'm busy then too. Uh," I added when she opened her mouth to suggest another time, "I'm busy for the rest of the weekends this year, sorry…" Then I pulled myself in the copy room quickly, shutting the door behind me just as fast.

I turned and saw a beautiful brunette standing absolutely still. "Bella?" I said before I could stop myself. My voice seemed to unfreeze her as she grabbed the copies she was making.

…Why did it seem like she was always making copies?

"I was just leaving," Bella tried, but I stopped her.

"Bella," I said again, feeling frustrated. "Why are you avoiding me?"

Her big, brown eyes darted away from my face as she attempted to lie. "Uh, I'm not..." Note to self: Bella is an awful liar.

"You are," I stated. I almost winced. That hurt more than I thought it would to say it out loud.

"Edward, I..."

I breathed in deeply, closing my eyes momentarily. I opened them again. "Bella, why do you hate me?" I asked sadly.

"W-what?" she stuttered in surprise after a while of silence.

I sighed. "You heard me."

"Well..." Bella started, almost nervously. "You're a womanizer, and you're arrogant, and Mr. Banner's practically in love with you–" I froze. Is that why he said that inter-office romance was permitted? Oh God. I thought he just liked me as a son or something, I had no idea… Bella obviously saw my horrified expression as she stopped her train of thought and fixed my confusion by saying, "Not like that. And... And it's that..." she didn't go on, instead turning red. My eyes roamed hungrily over the beautiful color on her cheeks.

And then she said something I never would've guessed: "That stupid, sexy smirk of yours drives me crazy!" I think I gaped for a second before I started smiling impossibly wide. All hope was not lost! Unconsciously, I moved closer to her.

"A-and after the club..." she went on, stumbling over her words a little.

"Yes?" I prompted eagerly.

As she uttered her next words, I steadied my resolve to just tell her. "Well... I can't stop thinking about it... It was the best kiss of my life." Bella looked embarrassed as continued, "And it was the best kiss of my life." I felt my deflated ego triple in size at that, and I smiled a little bigger. I moved even closer toward her, and her eyes started to close. Oh, Bella, I thought fondly, I will be kissing you. Just not yet.

"Bella, truth is," I said, "I'm in love with you."

Her eyes opened fully here and widened. "W-what?"

"Yes," I said in reply, keeping my voice smooth despite my heart hammering in my chest. "It wasn't love at first sight, of course, but pretty close. I was... extremely attracted to you when you snorted at Lauren's poor attempts at flirting." It was an adorable snort, after all. "I've never liked Lauren, to tell you the truth. I'm partial to brunettes," I admitted as I was momentarily distracted by Bella's soft hair. Bella blushed, and I grinned in delight.

"Eventually, though," I said, continuing on with my story. "Everything about you interested me, and I couldn't get enough – everything from your witty sarcasm to your beautiful blush," – the one I was admiring right now – "to the way you bite your perfect bottom lip when you're editing manuscripts." My eyes locked on those perfect lips, but I didn't mention I'd rather be the one biting her lip instead. "I soon realized I was in love with you, and I didn't know how to act around you," I admitted. "Most girls I've dated like my being arrogant, or, well," I amended, "they went for me. I'm not as cocky as I seem, but I will tell you I can be somewhat arrogant... but I know how to be humble," I added quickly, throwing a boyish smile her way. "My mom taught me better. I began asking Rosalie for advice –"

"I know you ask Rosalie for advice. I heard you in the lobby yesterday," Bella interrupted.

I nodded. Well, that was one less part I had to explain. "Oh, so you understa–"

"Unfortunately," she cut in again, sounding pissed. ...What? "I heard you talking about that girl and how much she means to you," Bella snapped. "Don't play me, Edward Cul–"

I almost rolled my eyes and sighed exasperatedly. "I was talking about you. Goodness, Bella, you're so oblivious sometimes." I wanted to add something like 'in the best way possible,' but she was talking again before I had a chance to soften the unintentional insult.

"Uh, I know." She sounded embarrassed, so I tried to fix it by telling her it was endearing.

"Anyway," I went on, pulling her even closer and talking into her neck. Fuck, she smelled amazing. I breathed unsteadily. "I asked Rosalie for advice, but all she told me was to just tell you, because you'd be too dense to notice." I laughed at the memory of putting her with Mr. Banner, and Bella's breathing picked up. I tightened my hold on her. I liked that she had a physical reaction to me. Obviously. "I was... afraid, to tell you the truth. It probably would've killed me for you to laugh at my declaration or reject me."

I looked at Bella anxiously for a reaction, and then she smiled beautifully and I forgot how to breathe for a second. Next thing I knew, she was kissing me, and then letting me deepen it and really taste her, and then my hands were respective, but somehow still everywhere, and hers were up in my hair, and everything was great.

Of course, Lauren had to come and ruin everything. "Hey, Eddie, I was wondering if you changed your mind about Satur–" I almost snorted, and I was almost about to tell her that no, fuck no, I hadn't changed my mind about fucking Saturday, but she gasped instead. "BELLA SWAN!" she screeched. "You slut! Will you stop trying to steal Edward away from me? We all know that he belongs to Lauren Mallory!" What the fuck? There were so many things wrong with that sentence, that I don't even know where to begin, except to point out that Lauren's a delusional psycho bitch.

Bella wasn't even fazed, but twisted slightly in my arms to raise her eyebrows at Lauren. "You refer to yourself in third person?" Lauren howled inhumanely and ran for Bella, but I grabbed her arm and stopped her.

"Don't touch Bella, Lauren," I said, the assistant's name feeling acidic on my tongue. "And don't call me Eddie."

"But Edward!" Lauren cried, finally catching on to how I liked my name. "Don't you see what she's trying to do to us, baby –"

I rolled my eyes, sick of this shit. "There never was an 'us.' I tried being subtle, but this is getting beyond ridiculous. Don't touch Bella, don't go near her, don't even talk about her, alright? If this gets more out of hand, I'm talking to Mr. Banner," I warned. I could tell Lauren was about to bitch about it, so I gave her a dirty look. She shot Bella a furious glare before stomping out of the room. I turned to Bella, smiling. "Wanna get out of here?" I asked hopefully, and when she gave me a positive affirmation, my grin expanded.

Poking my head into Mr. Banner's office, I let him know Bella and I were leaving.

"No problem, my boy!" responded Mr. Banner. I nodded and led a shocked Bella to the elevator, only to run into Mike fucking Newton.

"Hey Bella!" the asshole said. He sent me an annoyed look, his eyes lingering on Bella and my clasped hands. "Hello, Edward," he said coldly.

I didn't bother responding verbally, instead choosing to give a half jerk of my head that might be taken as recognition.

"So, Bella," the dick said, pretending like he was smooth, "Want to go on a date with me on Saturday night?" No, asshole, my mind fumed. She's holding my hand for a motherfucking reason.

"Actually, Bella isn't available that night," I said before I could stop myself. "Sorry," I added, not even trying to sound sincere.

Mike glared at me. "Well, what about –"

"Sorry," I repeated in the same tone I used before, "Bella's unavailable for the rest of the year when it concerns you." I smirked at his gaping face, because fuck yes, I hated the guy and he needs to be put down a peg or twenty, and because Bella was with me and not him.

I looked down at Bella, and she looked thoughtful. Dread curled in my stomach. "Was that too much? I mean, if you want to go out with him..." Please say no. Please say you have bad enough taste to go out with me, but not bad enough to date that douche.

Bella's answering smile dispelled any bad thoughts or feelings. "No. It's about time he realized I didn't want to go out with him," she reassured me sweetly.

I smiled so hard it felt like my face was going to split in two. "I love you," I stated into Bella's smooth neck. She looked at me apprehensively, but I made sure to ease her worries quickly. "You don't have to say it back, I don't expect you to." Bella smiled beautifully again and kissed me. We spent the elevator ride kissing. I was one happy man when we were walking out to the parking lot until Bella brought up my sister.

"So, I met your sister yesterday," Bella started.

"Hmm," I replied, still riding on my Bella-induced high.

"Yeah," she said, sounding like she was having a hard time from laughing. "She might've mentioned a couple of stories involving a rooster..."

I turned bright red as I remembered that Alice had divulged that information. I groaned. "I can't believe she told you about Mr. Doodle-Doo!"

Bella began cracking up laughing. "_Mr. Doodle-Doo?_" she giggled. I couldn't help but smile down at her. The name was ridiculous, after all. When she calmed down, she smiled teasingly at me. "I think it's cute that a rooster named Mr. Doodle-Doo could chase you down," she ribbed, still grinning. "Very manly," she mock-complemented.

I pretended to pout. "Aw, Edward," Bella said, pulling me down so she could kiss me. And then, all was good.

And when Bella deepened the kiss, all was _really_ good.

* * *

Who would've have thought that after all this time, I would be standing up here at the front of the church? I certainly didn't.

Okay, so maybe I knew it would happen eventually. And I knew my parents had full hope, and that Alice had been dying to plan another family wedding. Somehow, though, it still surprised me that she said yes.

Rosalie was a saint for willingly putting up with Emmett for the rest of their lives. Despite my teasing over the past year, I knew, and let the two know I knew, that they were going to be very happy together. I also planned on putting that in my best man's speech, which hadn't actually been written out. Taking after Emmett's life example, I decided to just wing it like he's always done.

Bella looked beautiful in her bridesmaids dress, of course. I looked her up and down, admiring the way the blue fabric showed off her curves. She saw me making eyes at her, and after checking me out purposefully, she sent me a saucy wink. I shifted, my pants tighter. I couldn't wait until I was alone with her.

Rosalie started coming down the aisle, but I turned my attention back on Bella. She was checking me out again, this time without knowing I saw her, and biting her lip. Fuck. I loved when she bit her lip. Bella caught my eye and I grinned and winked. She blushed. Aw, Bella, I thought fondly, one minute a vixen, the next a blushing innocent. I loved both... And she loved me. She had told me months and months ago, but it still made me the happiest fucking man on earth every time she said it.

After the ceremony, I sat with Bella to drink some champagne. "I love weddings," I flirted, "Best man gets first pick on the bridesmaid he wants." My fiancée – as of a week ago, I thought smugly – quirked her eyebrows and jokingly suggested one of Rosalie's blonde cousins.

"Oh, well... she's nice I suppose," I said in a disinterested tone. Bella bit back a grin. "But, as you might've heard, I'm partial to brunettes."

"Oh really?"

"There's one in particular I like," I hinted.

Bella ran her fingers along my jaw. "Oh?"

"Yep," I replied, giving her a detailed description of how gorgeous she was. "She's got brown eyes and full, luscious lips..." I paused, remembering all the good times with those lips, kissing, sucking... "She's absolutely beautiful, of course – exactly my type. She's got an _amazing_ body that looks good with her dress on and _off_," I emphasized, knowing I'd like nothing more than to take her home and reiterate that point with more or less words. Bella slid onto my lap, and I grinned.

"What's her name?" she asked, still playing our game.

I gave in. "Bella," I murmured.

"Wow," she replied seductively, "I heard she has a thing for the sexy best man." Oh fuck yes, I thought as my smile grew.

"I love you," I said.

Bella smiled brilliantly. "I love you too," she said.

I flashed her a grin before pulling her down for a kiss. I was the luckiest man alive... I would get to spend the rest of my life with this woman.

I couldn't wait to go to the office and rub it in Mike Newton's face.

* * *

**Bottom Note**: Yeah, so... I'm pretty sure that the _At the Office_'s didn't really make much sense. They are not realistic at all, hhahaha. And Edward's POV is just so... everywhere. When I was writing Bella's _At the Office_, I didn't actually think about Edward's reasoning behind anything he did, so when I was writing this I was like, Oh my freaking gosh, what the hell am I supposed to say about _why_ he did this? So, yeah... I almost completely understand if you flame me, but let's play nice, shall we?

I promise with any other fics I write that I'll actually plan that stuff out, so... yeah. Hopefully you guys like this as much as Bella'sPOV, which I personally think I should just totally rewrite but I'm waaaay to lazy to do that.

**Also, question for YOU**: What's the strangest/craziest thing you've ever done to get a crush's attention? ...I feel kind of silly using the word 'crush,' but whatever.

Okay, I'm done rambling, so please review and let me know what you think and tell me some funny stories.

-signed, Remy (:


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